Thursday, 10 April 2014

A Look in the Mirror

It's been over a year since I last made an entry in my blog. Since Dec 2012 so much has happened in my life. I found in Jan 2013 that I was pregnant with my little bundle. Lots has changed. I separated from a man I thought I wouldn't be able to live without, have been blessed with the most beautiful baby girl, relocated twice within 6 months. All this in the hope of some answers and in an effort to do the right thing. Sigh, somewhere amidst all of this and 5 years of married life, I forgot I was an individual too with feelings and ideas of my own. A friend forced me to have a look in the mirror today. I am in shock at the conservative person I see. Living in a foreign land can be hard but it is a bit of an identity crisis too. Yet, it is no excuse for continuing to put myself down by forgetting what I really want to do and forgetting that I am a capable woman. So even if today is not a special day as per the calendar, it is still special for me because today I make these promises to myself: 1) Do not let your culture play mind games with you 2) Stand up for yourself, say no to bullshit and disrespect from anyone 3) You did not commit a crime by going to Geelong, don't get convinced that you did 4) Your daughter needs a strong and level headed mum and not an emotional wreck 5) Take pride in your accomplishments including speaking up against the abuse 6) Writing is therapeutic for yourself, write more regularly. New beginnings from today...

Monday, 24 December 2012

Filthy Minds

The recent gang rape in New Delhi is yet another example of how sick and filthy some of the Indian minds are getting. A 23 year old girl(who could have been your or me) was brutally gang raped and attacked in a moving bus. She is struggling for her life in a hospital in Delhi today,has had her intestines removed and is on the ventilator. She is not giving up on her life and the Indian citizens are standing up for her demanding justice. The saddest thing is that the filthy minds are not just the men who raped her but also each of the police officers who are attacking the peaceful protestors with water cannons and tear gas. WHY? That is what I want to know. This ghastly act of gang rapes should have been well addressed when Phoolan Devi chose to seek revenge herself. One would think that the Indian government and the imbecile police(in most parts of India) would have learnt their lesson and have come out with stronger laws and punishment for this heinous act. This never happened and today in 2012,a young educated girl is the victim of the filthiest acts a human can get capable of. The Delhi Police is attacking young girls and women groups who are protesting. Isn't their anger justified? Or should India have easy gun access like the USA so every time a man unzips his pants to rape a girl,she can just shoot at his penis and save herself. Clearly to me a rapists life is not worth living. I don't care what Human Rights Organisations say to that,they need a reality check. Everyone of the Delhi politicians needs a reality check especially the ageing disgracefully Sheila Dixit who is a woman and the CM of Delhi. She is a BIG shame on Delhi for her recent comments on this issue and the Delhi Police is a big joke also. They are paid to provide security to politicians and rich bureaucrats. I am so angered by this recent turn of events because even if I am living in Australia, I am a woman and have been born and brought up in India. I want to extend my support to the protestors-KEEP SPEAKING UP and I pray for the recovery of the brave 23 year old girl who is a fighter and deserves to live as much as the rest of us do. I am attaching the following link to a few pictures of the attitude of the police:

Saturday, 1 December 2012

Honour Killings-Whose Honour are they for?

The recent news I read about yet another man losing his life in the name of honour killings has pained me so much. Let me explain the term "Honour Killings" the way I see them- These barbaric killings are done when children bring dishonour to their families by making their own choices about love and life!!! That's it! It thus gives the right to families to not only curb the independence of children but also take their lives away from them or ensure that the rest of their lives are ruined so they live in so called repentance. It is so sad and even though people may think it happens only in countries that are backward, it's victims are also kids who are born to conservative Asian or Middle Eastern parents living in countries like the UK and Canada. Aamir Khan is the only Indian celebrity to have done something to raise this issue in public yet even his efforts weren't enough for this bloke who died. He was on Aamir's show and one would think that such a powerful TV show would perhaps bring the sensitive side out in India but it didn't help. I want to know what gives any of us the right to decide who can and should live and who shouldn't? For all those maniacs out there who think honour is more valuable than life, you deserve to used as guinea pigs for scientific research on insanity.

Friday, 21 September 2012

The Cup of Tea

“No mum!” Beth screamed,” I don’t care what you or dad think because I love him.” With a heavy sigh, Crystal swallowed the silent tears of pain & sorrow. She was not against her daughters love but just wanted to talk. After all Beth was young & 24 & he was 40, divorced twice. She wasn’t being judgemental but feared the worst for Beth. Finally, Beth decided to literally sit down over a cup of tea & talk it over with them. Crystal was excited & she got the best china tea set out so Beth knew how important it was to them. It was 5:00 pm & Beth would be arriving any minute now. Hmm, 6:00 pm, maybe she got stuck at Uni. At 8:00 pm, she tried Beth’s mobile. She got a message saying the number had been disconnected! Fearing the worst, she contacted Beth’s friend only to be told that Beth had walked out on her family for the love of her life. That was 10 years ago; the china had long been broken like Crystal’s spirit. She had aged at least by 20 years. Beth had not made any contact with her in all these years & Crystal would still cry herself to sleep every night thinking of Beth. Her knees hurt now; it was such an effort to get up to even answer the door. She felt weak physically & emotionally. One evening when Crystal was lost in her thoughts & prayers, she was disturbed by a knock on the door. That’s odd when you have a doorbell that works she thought. Gathering all her strength she got up from her chair & opened the door to find Beth with a baby in her arms. “Mum, I left him! Is it too late for that cup of tea?” “Not at all my darling, let me put the kettle on” said Crystal as she hugged Beth with tears streaming down her eyes. Beth was home & it was the best cup of tea they had both enjoyed in a long time. This post holds a special place in my heart

Thursday, 19 April 2012


Laila: The latest bundle of joy in my life. She's my yellow/golden labrador puppy & in addition to being cute & naughty (as they all are), she is an absolute blessing to have. Hard to admit but when sometimes life gets tricky, one can often get depressed. She helped me in a lot of ways & Gill & I are rediscovering our relationship thanks to her. That's not really why I decided to do this blog entry. I'm doing it because her most recent act of love touched me deeply. At the moment, Gill & I are together on weekends due to work reasons & I have got the flu coupled with a terrible throat infection. To cut a long story short, Laila has been oblivious to me trying to rest up & take medicines. As long as she is fed & I play with her(as much as this stupid rain will allow), her life is complete; or so I thought. After a regular 3:45 am wake up call from her, once she had relieved herself & I had put her back to bed, I decided to do some saline rinses in order to try and soothe the feeling of having a cactus in my throat. OMG! What a scary idea for Laila!!! Finally sensing something wasn't quite right with me, she ran up to me, started licking me & whining at the same time. It's almost as if she needed a reassurance that I was okay whilst she was trying to reassure me that everything was fine ! I was so touched because she didn't budge from my feet & wanted to be so close to me during the entire 5 minutes or so. All the time she was licking my feet & whining, looking up, trying to give cuddles & be cuddled at the same time. I tried tucking her in bed. What an idiot am I to think she would leave me alone! She jumped out of bed & was already waiting for me at the bathroom door, wagging her lovely tail :) Tried again and the entire scenario repeated itself. Finally, I decided to get back into bed, thought if I ignored her, she might doze off. Another bad idea. Turns out, when she needs to comfort you, doesn't matter what she licks as long as she can smell you're there!!! She was going berserk in licking my blanket till I gave up. I thought she needed a pat but how wrong was I !!!! She felt I needed to be loved & so she tried getting onto my lap & was so affectionate. I'm quite good when it comes to her emotional blackmail but just gave in this time & lifted her up & it was almost as if we were sunshine for each other on a gloomy day! Ms Laila couldn't believe her luck and was so rubbing herself against me. About 20 minutes & a couple of scoldings later, she finally went to bed & closed her eyes but I couldn't sleep. I decided to make a note of this incident & no sooner did she realise I wasn't in bed,she decided to check on me! Now,as I write this, I've had to pull her bed close to my feet & she is finally sleeping. I feel so good after having written this, think I will hit the bed too now :) I took this picture of her when I was trying to settle her down, tell me,wouldn't you melt for those eyes too !!!!

Saturday, 5 November 2011


Sometimes I wonder if we just live through some choices because it is simply convenient. Some people end up living their lives for convenience and dont mind being stuck in the wrong kind of a relationship for the rest of their lives for it. The point is, does one live a farce in the hope that at least in one's dreams one is living the so called ideal life? Ideal for who though???I wish it were easy to answer this!