Wednesday, 28 November 2007
Its still very scary to think that at the age of 26, I can make gross blunders with my tongue in nervousness and hands as well. So much for being arrogant enough to think that certain things would never affect me. At times I really wonder if we know ourselves as well as we think we do!!! Still, I think I fared much better than Ben Stiller did for a first meeting with "The Parents"...I hope I am right!!!!!!
Sunday, 25 November 2007
Sunday, 4 November 2007
Its a good thing I feel, that the concept of single partner and loyalty is very much a part of an Indian's upbringing. The question which arose to my mind is that if marriage ties into a bond with your soulmate, then how is religion, race, colour and even caste a basis to decide that. A lot of my friends have justified some of the above mentioned factors to me by saying, its really hard to adjust in another culture or another religion and even a caste as the traditions are really different. If a lot of factors for convenience are supposed to determine what is termed as your life partner, isn't it being hypocritical? If your soulmate is defined in terms of his degree, religion, job, status, is he really a soulmate in this case? Obviously one cannot marry a beggar on the streets or a heroin addict unless you chose to identify yourself with such people but why is it that people choose to constrict their outlook in seeking a life partner. Some of my dearest friends are in the process of choosing their life partners and some of them will not even consider interacting with a person who doesn't belong to the same community. How about the good persons in life they might be missing in this instance? As it is, I feel really miserable about the whole idea of a groom's family coming to check out the girl and based on just one meeting, deciding whether she will be fit to settle in their family or not. Its a disgrace and a real blow to the girl's self respect. Do parents really think how girls feel after any Tom, Dick or Harry just observes them for a few minutes and rejects her just because she might not have appealed to his hungry eyes? Where does the big talk about soulmate vanish in that case? If the girl rejects a man, God save her in the Indian Society. Labeling her for having an independent mindset is a very minor thing, there are heaps of other ideas that are drilled into her head. None of them actually convey to her that its ok to take your time and decide on your life partner. Since the horoscopes matched, this was THE man for you and now since you have rejected him, God knows what calamity will strike the family! One of my very dear male friends once told me how he had decided on marrying someone outside his caste and when the girl backed out, he was heartbroken. There was another girl who would have given up the world for him and she was a friend of his too, yet he chose to act blind to her feelings for him and the justification he gave to her and himself was, she was from another religion and his parents would be very upset. Maybe I am too radical in my opinions but it made me wonder that so many of us are ready to lead a farce because we are not gutsy enough to deal with the challenges of life. This friend of mine knew he adored this girl and that if there was anyone he could be at ease with in life, it was her and yet, he admitted to her he would rather live with a woman his parents chose because he didn't want a partner from another religion.Although he had never believed in the idea of an arranged marriage, he finally subjected himself to giving in to it to avoid the hardships he would have had to face to be with her... Such is life! Marriage is really a long term commitment which takes in a lot of mutual efforts to be successful. Unless and until you really live with a person, you can never know what your tolerance levels for each other are. I feel sorry for the girls who end up in getting divorced in less than a month of marriage because the guy suddenly realizes he still loves his ex girlfriend. What a loser! Its a nightmare for anyone and if the girl does the same to a guy, the reaction she earns is a lot more nastier than what the guy gets! Gender biased, aren't we??? Will the numerous gaps of hypocrisy in life ever lessen??? My confused mind still wonders!
Saturday, 15 September 2007
What struck me was that she expected the doctor to buy her story. Why is it that women choose to silently suffer agony and pain especially when it comes to abuse of any kind? Here I was facing a young woman, extremely smart in appearance and her mannerisms were not suggestive that she could be a bored housewife. She had dropped on her way back from work so the possibility that she really had to be dependent on the guy for finances was not convincing enough for me to fall for it.
In a country like Australia, where even the public toilets display helpline numbers for help against violence, lack of awareness is not an issue like I pointed it out earlier. Why must a person like her be compelled to take abuse as a normal part of life?
Victims of Domestic Violence tend to become abusers themselves. Its a really sad thing that what impacts a child's mind during the years in which he is growing up will definitely influence his thought process and bias his mind. If the mother is not strong enough to say no to a violent father, how will the child cope with it? He or she will end up into drug and alcohol abuse for no fault of his. Or maybe, start identifying himself or herself as a gay or a lesbian...Yes, there are zillions of ways to handle the issue on a large scale but on a personal level, what is the contribution that you and I choose to make to such things? Ignore them? Or brag about womens liberation movements especially in places where no one really seems to care about them? In India, it is taught to a girl child to submit and give in. It is only very recently that the concept of a marital rape has started entering the minds of people in India. Yet, I am sure, there are hardly any women who stand up and say no to a man when they want in a relationship especially if it is marriage...The ugly realities of life go on every single day, why do we act so blind to them? I wish I knew...
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
Walking down the busy streets of Melbourne I see so many faces which have INDIAN literally engraved on them. Since I am also an Indian, many times its just brought me glares from the girls and "why is this girl walking alone" looks from the blokes. If we ourselves get so put off by the appearances of our fellow countrymen, I can't imagine the plight of people from other nations! Then we claim that the fair skinned are racists towards us...Ironical isn't it?
Monday, 27 August 2007
Sunday, 13 May 2007
- Never be judgemental,
- Rely upon yourself first,
- Learn to forgive,
- Unless negativities are thrown away, positivities will not have much room to enter,
- Life is beautiful,
- There are men around who do not view women as sex objects and who know that breasts are not the only thing in a female body,
- Believe in love,
- Sharing your life with the one you love is precious,
- Being broke is joyous if you have each other,
- Don't break anyone's heart,
- Live with dignity and take pride in being yourself,
- Being a woman is a gift,ENJOY EVERY MINUTE of it...
Its such an irony that most of them were taught to me by him within a span of a few months.I think I'm lucky to have the man I adore and love as my life partner and my teacher. Maybe its a boring read to a strangers eyes but for a shattered soul and a vagabond who found her anchor in the most unexpected friend, it is a blessing in every sense to be able to love life again...