Saturday, 15 September 2007

Domestic Violence and Abuse

Despite the Aussie government making so many efforts to curb violence against women in Australia, it still persists in reality. Working in a dental clinic, I had the opportunity of witnessing the extent to which domestic violence exists in real life. There was this very smart and good looking young woman of South African origin who came in as a patient. She is born and brought up here so the issue of less exposure to her rights is not what came to my mind. She had a bruised face and had a complaint of one of her front teeth shaking a bit and changing in colour. If anyone amongst the readers of this entry happens to be a dentist, you will obviously think of a grave traumatic injury that has occurred to the tooth. What pinched me was that this young lady simply said that she hit herself on the face by a glass when her husband was around and that is how she ended up bruising herself on the cheek, not because of anyone else, but because of her own clumsiness...Having seen her bruise personally, I felt it looked more of an injury owing to a serious bash on the face.
What struck me was that she expected the doctor to buy her story. Why is it that women choose to silently suffer agony and pain especially when it comes to abuse of any kind? Here I was facing a young woman, extremely smart in appearance and her mannerisms were not suggestive that she could be a bored housewife. She had dropped on her way back from work so the possibility that she really had to be dependent on the guy for finances was not convincing enough for me to fall for it.
In a country like Australia, where even the public toilets display helpline numbers for help against violence, lack of awareness is not an issue like I pointed it out earlier. Why must a person like her be compelled to take abuse as a normal part of life?
Victims of Domestic Violence tend to become abusers themselves. Its a really sad thing that what impacts a child's mind during the years in which he is growing up will definitely influence his thought process and bias his mind. If the mother is not strong enough to say no to a violent father, how will the child cope with it? He or she will end up into drug and alcohol abuse for no fault of his. Or maybe, start identifying himself or herself as a gay or a lesbian...Yes, there are zillions of ways to handle the issue on a large scale but on a personal level, what is the contribution that you and I choose to make to such things? Ignore them? Or brag about womens liberation movements especially in places where no one really seems to care about them? In India, it is taught to a girl child to submit and give in. It is only very recently that the concept of a marital rape has started entering the minds of people in India. Yet, I am sure, there are hardly any women who stand up and say no to a man when they want in a relationship especially if it is marriage...The ugly realities of life go on every single day, why do we act so blind to them? I wish I knew...

2 comments:

Bungi said...

I wonder why too... I guess we keep hoping against hope.

Anonymous said...

To start with Congratulations for the big event that the post of 28th November refers to...

You have been doing quite a bit of writing I see and this one here is a wonderful line of thought. I can understand your point on standing up for beliefs and the story about your friend touches a chord somwhere :) . But I guess he was right in what he did because else you would not have met your soulmate ;) . Think about it.

Great Writing and Astitute Observations. :)