Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Meeting the Parents!!!

God!!!!!!!!! I had never imagined me meeting my soulmate's parents for the first time would give a brat like me the jitters of a lifetime! Being a totally independent lass, I had almost forgotten that when you love someone, its ok to relax and be a bit flexible in life... I was soooooo nervous regarding my first meeting with my boyfriend's parents because I am actually head over heels in love with him and to completely love someone also includes having unbiased feelings against his or her family if you have never met them. The meeting was pleasant enough because I thankfully didn't open my yappy mouth a lot and fortunately, I wasn't being X-rayed like an object that could walk and talk. I am not great with my tea skills but on this particular day, I must admit that I ended up in making a black and bitter disaster in the name of tea! My dear mom couldn't help sermonising me on how girls like me who think we are the brand ambassadors of independence bring embarassment to our ownselves when we can't even make a decent cup of tea for the family! I can't imagine the thoughts that must have run through his parents's minds...Nevertheless, they were really kind and gulped it down somehow and were not vocal about how pathetic it probably tasted. Well, it was my nervousness that I can happily put the blame on for now but for how long can I hide under the covers of nervousness? I'm blessed with really kind parents in law who don't judge me for the way I cook because had that been the case, my relation with them would have been very bitter, just the way I cook food :)
Its still very scary to think that at the age of 26, I can make gross blunders with my tongue in nervousness and hands as well. So much for being arrogant enough to think that certain things would never affect me. At times I really wonder if we know ourselves as well as we think we do!!! Still, I think I fared much better than Ben Stiller did for a first meeting with "The Parents"...I hope I am right!!!!!!

Sunday, 25 November 2007

Being a GIRL....

Being a girl is the worst thing that can happen to an individual. If I ever get to know I am pregnant with a girl child, I will kill myself that very day only. I have never hated being a female in my life till now. My parents have borne 3 daughters, hats off to them. I wonder what the parents of a male child think when a son is born in their family. Does it make them superior in an instant? Does it give them a right to hurt someone's feelings without even thinking twice? I think that it is every Indian parent's right who has a male child to show their superiority in one form or the other. Why do we make our lives so complicated? Is it human nature to give importance to your feelings and only yours before anyone else's??? If yes, then why in the world did my parents never think of teaching me to put SELF before everything else? I feel sorry for the parents of females in India for despite having dignified lives of their own, they are ultimately at the mercy of others. A discussion with a close confidante revealed that if you have sisters, your sister does not have a right to her own decisions and all decisions regarding even her life must be taken by the man who is her brother in law! How ironical can life get? Is it a threat to a male's ego if the females in his family make their own decision? If a girl child's father can give her the sense of an indivuality, why can't some men just ACCEPT it??? I AM IN A RAGE OF EMOTIONS....The result of some recent happenings is that I feel that the girl child should never be born.............

Sunday, 4 November 2007

Marriage...the 'uh-ranged' way!

The Indian Society has always been proud of its culture and the different ways of life that exist there. Marriage is one of the most sacred relations to a true Indian's heart. It is believed and emphasized upon continously that there is just one life partner for everyone who is your true soulmate not just in your present life, but in the past and the unknown future ones as well.
Its a good thing I feel, that the concept of single partner and loyalty is very much a part of an Indian's upbringing. The question which arose to my mind is that if marriage ties into a bond with your soulmate, then how is religion, race, colour and even caste a basis to decide that. A lot of my friends have justified some of the above mentioned factors to me by saying, its really hard to adjust in another culture or another religion and even a caste as the traditions are really different. If a lot of factors for convenience are supposed to determine what is termed as your life partner, isn't it being hypocritical? If your soulmate is defined in terms of his degree, religion, job, status, is he really a soulmate in this case? Obviously one cannot marry a beggar on the streets or a heroin addict unless you chose to identify yourself with such people but why is it that people choose to constrict their outlook in seeking a life partner. Some of my dearest friends are in the process of choosing their life partners and some of them will not even consider interacting with a person who doesn't belong to the same community. How about the good persons in life they might be missing in this instance? As it is, I feel really miserable about the whole idea of a groom's family coming to check out the girl and based on just one meeting, deciding whether she will be fit to settle in their family or not. Its a disgrace and a real blow to the girl's self respect. Do parents really think how girls feel after any Tom, Dick or Harry just observes them for a few minutes and rejects her just because she might not have appealed to his hungry eyes? Where does the big talk about soulmate vanish in that case? If the girl rejects a man, God save her in the Indian Society. Labeling her for having an independent mindset is a very minor thing, there are heaps of other ideas that are drilled into her head. None of them actually convey to her that its ok to take your time and decide on your life partner. Since the horoscopes matched, this was THE man for you and now since you have rejected him, God knows what calamity will strike the family! One of my very dear male friends once told me how he had decided on marrying someone outside his caste and when the girl backed out, he was heartbroken. There was another girl who would have given up the world for him and she was a friend of his too, yet he chose to act blind to her feelings for him and the justification he gave to her and himself was, she was from another religion and his parents would be very upset. Maybe I am too radical in my opinions but it made me wonder that so many of us are ready to lead a farce because we are not gutsy enough to deal with the challenges of life. This friend of mine knew he adored this girl and that if there was anyone he could be at ease with in life, it was her and yet, he admitted to her he would rather live with a woman his parents chose because he didn't want a partner from another religion.Although he had never believed in the idea of an arranged marriage, he finally subjected himself to giving in to it to avoid the hardships he would have had to face to be with her... Such is life! Marriage is really a long term commitment which takes in a lot of mutual efforts to be successful. Unless and until you really live with a person, you can never know what your tolerance levels for each other are. I feel sorry for the girls who end up in getting divorced in less than a month of marriage because the guy suddenly realizes he still loves his ex girlfriend. What a loser! Its a nightmare for anyone and if the girl does the same to a guy, the reaction she earns is a lot more nastier than what the guy gets! Gender biased, aren't we??? Will the numerous gaps of hypocrisy in life ever lessen??? My confused mind still wonders!