Sunday, 4 November 2007

Marriage...the 'uh-ranged' way!

The Indian Society has always been proud of its culture and the different ways of life that exist there. Marriage is one of the most sacred relations to a true Indian's heart. It is believed and emphasized upon continously that there is just one life partner for everyone who is your true soulmate not just in your present life, but in the past and the unknown future ones as well.
Its a good thing I feel, that the concept of single partner and loyalty is very much a part of an Indian's upbringing. The question which arose to my mind is that if marriage ties into a bond with your soulmate, then how is religion, race, colour and even caste a basis to decide that. A lot of my friends have justified some of the above mentioned factors to me by saying, its really hard to adjust in another culture or another religion and even a caste as the traditions are really different. If a lot of factors for convenience are supposed to determine what is termed as your life partner, isn't it being hypocritical? If your soulmate is defined in terms of his degree, religion, job, status, is he really a soulmate in this case? Obviously one cannot marry a beggar on the streets or a heroin addict unless you chose to identify yourself with such people but why is it that people choose to constrict their outlook in seeking a life partner. Some of my dearest friends are in the process of choosing their life partners and some of them will not even consider interacting with a person who doesn't belong to the same community. How about the good persons in life they might be missing in this instance? As it is, I feel really miserable about the whole idea of a groom's family coming to check out the girl and based on just one meeting, deciding whether she will be fit to settle in their family or not. Its a disgrace and a real blow to the girl's self respect. Do parents really think how girls feel after any Tom, Dick or Harry just observes them for a few minutes and rejects her just because she might not have appealed to his hungry eyes? Where does the big talk about soulmate vanish in that case? If the girl rejects a man, God save her in the Indian Society. Labeling her for having an independent mindset is a very minor thing, there are heaps of other ideas that are drilled into her head. None of them actually convey to her that its ok to take your time and decide on your life partner. Since the horoscopes matched, this was THE man for you and now since you have rejected him, God knows what calamity will strike the family! One of my very dear male friends once told me how he had decided on marrying someone outside his caste and when the girl backed out, he was heartbroken. There was another girl who would have given up the world for him and she was a friend of his too, yet he chose to act blind to her feelings for him and the justification he gave to her and himself was, she was from another religion and his parents would be very upset. Maybe I am too radical in my opinions but it made me wonder that so many of us are ready to lead a farce because we are not gutsy enough to deal with the challenges of life. This friend of mine knew he adored this girl and that if there was anyone he could be at ease with in life, it was her and yet, he admitted to her he would rather live with a woman his parents chose because he didn't want a partner from another religion.Although he had never believed in the idea of an arranged marriage, he finally subjected himself to giving in to it to avoid the hardships he would have had to face to be with her... Such is life! Marriage is really a long term commitment which takes in a lot of mutual efforts to be successful. Unless and until you really live with a person, you can never know what your tolerance levels for each other are. I feel sorry for the girls who end up in getting divorced in less than a month of marriage because the guy suddenly realizes he still loves his ex girlfriend. What a loser! Its a nightmare for anyone and if the girl does the same to a guy, the reaction she earns is a lot more nastier than what the guy gets! Gender biased, aren't we??? Will the numerous gaps of hypocrisy in life ever lessen??? My confused mind still wonders!

1 comment:

Tarandeep Gill said...

The idea that I will too be getting married sooner or later sends chills down my spine.