Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Thinking Aloud...

Sometimes I feel that victims of child abuse and sexual molestation who help themselves in overcoming the pain, anger and hurt are more or less like the phoenix bird. The idea of a fresh start after a painful farewell to oneself is not a very common one in my opinion. Many people choose to silently live with their pain, sorrow and anguish and others seek their peace in various other ways. It could be religion, work or even developing a hobby, whatever they can do to come to terms with their lives. Why is it that we live in a world of pedophiles? Its not like a child asks for incest to be brought upon him or herself, then why do they get victimized? I read it somewhere that in the USA, every four seconds a child is molested, does anyone know the statistics about Indian victims? It all starts with a 'friendly' touch from someone who is in most cases a close confidante of the victim's parents. Gradually, the touch gives way to longer moments of contact which are very serious in nature. It is absurd that in an Indian society, where the major religion is Hinduism and it has a vast number of Goddesses which even most of the Indian males worship and pray to, the same male does not think even twice in stripping the dignity of a little one. Being a girl, I cannot give the outlook of a male and I am sure molesters are not always bothered about the gender of a child. Open discussions with a lot of friends have educated me on this issue. Some male friends of mine have even thanked me for helping them understand of how much pain many of their friends carry. I have dealt with and helped a lot of my friends overcome the pain of this ugly reality of life but not even in the wildest of my dreams was I prepared to deal with a person who has been sodomized as a child. This person is married and is the father of two sons but despite that, even today, he is living in a private hell of his own, oblivious to his family. Solitude can be blissful occasionally but one must learn to face what we fear the most and that in many instances of victims of sexual and child abuse can mean sheer acceptance. Will my family accept me despite knowing what I have been through? Will my husband/wife understand I was not at fault? Will I accept that, even if I learned to enjoy being victimized, it was not my fault? Will I stop doubting myself ever? Will I learn to forgive the bastard who did this to me ever? These are just some of the random thoughts that go through a victims mind and why shouldn't they? After all our Indian society is one big farce in my opinion.
Will my friends ever recover? Will we ever openly talk about the hell we have been through? My confused mind still wonders.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

So true. Having been a victim myself, I had started enjoying the act only to feel so guilty later on. If only I could turn back time, I was on a self destructive path and got physical with just about anyone who said a few kind words to me. Now I have children and I am so scared for them!

Anonymous said...

why r u so quiet??.....don't u miss....