Friday, 9 July 2010

Bondage- When did I submit in to thee?

For all my ideas about my freedom of thought & expression about myself, I cannot truly express my opinion publicly on so many people. It is simply because I am a victim of emotional bondage... I fear too much what the other person(s) will think if I truly am able to state my opinon. There would be a conflict of interests in just about every spehere of my life then ! Am I such a difficult person to deal with? I wouldn't like to think so but I get affected by people and my surroundings easily. When I try not to, I feel like a pressure cooker all the more. Today, I feel as if I have too much of energy in me, to much of venom waiting to be spit out but it's not going to happen ! It shouldn't because I need to learn the (f)art of diplomacy. Being honest is not good on many occaisons and what I am going through as a result of being honest is definitely not good. People are not able to treat you like a (normal) person and that makes you wonder out aloud," Where did I go wrong?" I went wrong many times. I hurt too many people in hoisting my flag of honesty and supporting the truth. I do realize it but the part that saddens and amazes me so much is that I would be the same way even if time were to turn back...That is how thick skinned in the head I am :) When did principles get engraved on my mind so much? I wonder and just as I was wondering, I had this thought to myself : I just support the truth and what I percieve as right, does this make me so wrong :)