Saturday, 5 November 2011


Sometimes I wonder if we just live through some choices because it is simply convenient. Some people end up living their lives for convenience and dont mind being stuck in the wrong kind of a relationship for the rest of their lives for it. The point is, does one live a farce in the hope that at least in one's dreams one is living the so called ideal life? Ideal for who though???I wish it were easy to answer this!

Saturday, 29 October 2011


This is to the ones who don't like me enough to talk to me, why do u browse through my information on the internet? I must be really important :)

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Honesty Vs Dishonesty,Fiction Vs Fact?

From the time I remember I started going to school, I remember my parents & teachers lay the importance of being honest in life and how honesty is the real and right thing to do. So much so that I developed into someone with honesty STRONGLY imbibed in my head and heart. Unfortunately though, I thought that others in life would be brought up the same way. I faced a lot of pain and hurt in my life because I believed people for whatever they said, it never occurred to me people were capable of lying and for some, its just a convenient habit. My husband says I'm gullible but I think he is just being polite and not letting me know that I'm an idiot :) So really, what is the point in my highly moral and righteous upbringing where I was told the following, which I would now classify as PURE FICTION:
* In the end, Truth always prevails
* Dishonest people are never successful in life
* The world will respect you if you are honest & lead a life based on good principles
* Everyone supports the right and stands with those taking a stand for justice
* Do not be selfish

* What goes around, comes around
* Be good no matter what happens to you
Now, silly me, I believed the above to the core and the following is what I have experienced in 30 years of my life leading an honest, open and truthful life and this is a list of PURE FACTS ( as per me) in today's world:
* No one gives a shit about whether you are honest or not
* Be honest and you get kicked in the butt & sometimes slapped straight on the face
* There is no end where Truth will prevail, only the strong will prevail whether they are right or not
* Try standing up for yourself and it won't take you long to see that you are all by yourself except for one or two people who are with you for their love for you.
* Selfish people are successful
* What goes around doesn't come around. If this were true, I wouldn't get cheated in life because I have never cheated anyone

Some of the recent events in my life have been a rude wake up call for me and I just feel sad that I cannot change and become a hypocrite and liar. Come to think of it, I would be so unhappy if I could really become that way because I view such people as very shallow & at times I found out the truth about some people in the most hurtful yet unimaginable way. The only consolation I give myself is that it could have been worse and TRY not to trust anyone because NOT everyone is honest.
It saddens me that I was/am friends with some people like that. What sickens me is that those who are successful in their careers are the ones with the most friends. Maybe the most fake friends? Or people who don't really have the guts to be themselves.
All said and done, what have I learned from my recent experience?
Do not trust the Barbie doll: She is a real bitch :)
Do not trust people for what they say unless they are willing to put their shit down in writing.
Note to self: Revisit this page when you go astray and start believing people for what they are :)

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Mixed Emotions

Chatted online to a friend on sexual molestation and why I think the Islamic way of justice of dealing with perverts who rape/molest is justified. Took me on an unpleasant memory trip which I have been trying to avoid for a while now. Find myself to be a bag of mixed emotions now. My head is going to burst I think but it's fine, I will survive :)

Friday, 2 September 2011

Random thought about passwords

Wasn't intending on writing anything on passwords, had "Love" in my head when I signed in, while signing it just chuckled to myself because I had to tell myself that scan your brain out for the 10 passwords u regularly use to consider which one is for this gmail id :) Onset of dementia?Hope not!!!! Scary thought but glad to know I remembered which one was actually used to sign in here ! Am on a water detox program which is self designed with the intention of drinking 2 litres of H2O everyday :D

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Horrible Bosses: Loved it !

When my friend called at the last minute to generously donate free passes for Horrible Bosses, little did I know how much would I enjoy the film ! Ok, one of my so called bosses is horrible and comparable to someone in the film but the other is not even remotely close to it :) Gill and I decided to go for the film at 6:00 pm which was brave as the film was starting at 6:30pm ! I like Jennifer Aniston and boy does she look hot in the film! No, I'm not going to get motivated in terms of being a dentist by her but the film is hilarious. After all, nothing takes the stress away from your life other than a good film and some popcorn to enjoy it with :)

Sunday, 17 July 2011

Marriage and hypocrisy

Are we really true to anyone but ourselves? How many things does one hide and twist and turn around for one's own convenience? Must we complicate our lives and live as a married couple? I don't get it when gay & lesbian couples want to get married, for that matter now, I don't even get it when straight couples want to get married ! I have nothing against marriage or the so called sanctity of marriage but I don't see it as something worth what our parents tell us about. When we are growing up (esp. in India) as girls, the importance of the concept of virginity is imbibed in our hearts and lives, yet it is quite futile, for a heart in love will do as it pleases. When we say two people make love, does it matter what religion,caste/creed they are from? Why does it matter so much in marriage then? Can one grow out of love/the feeling of marriage? I feel yes, especially if you think you rushed yourself into it. So many couples cheat on their partners, why then do they still choose to live as per the norms of society as married couples? Why not just walk out of the marriage and save someone else the heartbreak of finding out about cheating? As more and more days pass me by, I find myself strongly opposed to the idea of marriage and a married life. It is ironic that I am married and chose my own partner but what amuses me even more, is that he is opposed to the idea of marriage today in just the same way as I am ! So why is it that our parents lay stress on marriage & being with the one person no matter what? Were they even more confused than us? Or is it the so called stability in life that drives one to a marriage? At this stage in my life, I fail to understand.

Sunday, 13 February 2011

"Hereafter" , a film that moved me so deeply

I'm not a big fan of Westerners but I do enjoy what Clint Eastwood directs or produces. Little did I know what was in store for me when we randomly decided to go for Hereafter last night. It was one of the most touching films I have ever seen. I found myself weeping silent tears during the film. It's a very touching story of how differently can death affect people. Three different perspectives have been used in the movie and in the end, they all get interwoven in each others lives. It's also made me slightly skeptical about which kind of people are truly psychic in life and the ones who pretend to be! The love between the two brothers in the film moved me so deeply. It also made me think how bad bullying can be... It's amazing how certain things leave an impact on you and this film has led a very deep one on me. It's a very well directed film and I think it should have got more nominations at the oscars....

What the.....???

This is in response to the teacher who got fired for posting photos of her drinking with her friends at Facebook!!! It's not fair in my opinion because everyone has a personal and a professional side to them. What she does in her personal time should not bother anyone. How many parents of the kids she teaches might be alcoholics or be rude to their partners? I don't think it's fair to link the 2. Its not like she asked her students to follow what she does in her personal time!

Sunday, 6 February 2011

Surviving Cyclone Yasi

1st of Feb 2011(Tuesday)- The day I went to work and was informed by my friends of the severity of the cyclone. On the way to work, I was asking Gill to get some stuff but being the way he is, he just took it as a joke. As the day wore on, new updates from the internet made me realize of the severity of the storm. I decided to grab what I could and go home to prepare for the worst. We live in a townhouse but I wasn't sure of anything because the newspapers said we could get a storm surge ! I got back from work and my panic mode started I guess. I started packing stufff, asking Gill to get serious and he wasn't as serious as I'd hoped he would be even then. I did ask him to get my my valuables from the bank(which he reckons is a joke) because if I died, I wanted to be close to physical reminders of my family. We needed batteries for the torch and my dear hubby went and got one pair only. I requested masking tape but he did not think we needed it. My line manager said at that stage, we were expected to drop into work the next day because it was only on 03/02/11(Thursday) that it was expected to strike. So I started packing with minimal support from Gill because as per him, it would not strike Townsville. It was exhausting mentally and physically to think of what all needed to be done and what all could happen but nevertheless, like a tortoise, I kept a slow and steady pace.Gill tried to help when he could, but he needed his IPad breaks every 5 minutes or so. I was so stressed but I cooked,packed, fought with Gill, and the cycle went on.
2nd Feb 2011(Wednesday)- I was in no state to go to work because our area came under a possible evacuation zone and I called up the SES for some information and that is when my dear husband realized that it was not a joke. I had been pleading with him for masking tape for the past 1 day very strictly and many days before that as well and at 8:00 am he decided to wake up from his sleep and act. He still needed me to help him plan and search for things. As the morning grew, so did my irritability. We wasted a precious hour but managed to find more spare batteries for the torch and some masking tape. All throughout, I was tense and stressed and Gill was calm and humourous. We were silent as we put the masking tape on the doors and windows. It didn't help because the emotions the cyclone warnings brought out in me were a mixed bunch ! Then the endless packing continued. We were kind of stuck in a rut as to where we'd go if the roof blew off AND if the house got flooded because really, where would we go? I called up the SES and they said if we had not been evacuated so far, we might be safe from flooding. The important word was "might" but Gill decided to take a chance anyway ! I decided to tell my parents because I didn't want to die without talking to my parents... Dad came out with a lot of useful suggestions and mom with her endless prayers. We desperately hunted for a portable radio but had no luck with one. At exactly 4:20p.m. we lost power. Then the countdown started. One of my friends from Melbourne was constantly texting me about the warnings and keeping me updated about the cyclone(cannot thank her enough for every minute by minute update). Our refuge was the laundry which gave us the space of being in an area of 3 feet by 5 feet. Thankfully the toilet was attached to it and there was a small window for air in it. Till 9:30pm we were sitting in the lounge trying to soak in as much of breeze as possible and then it got too windy to sit in the lounge without thinking that trees might be flying around soon. So we entered our den and stayed put for the rest of the night.
03/02/11 Thursday- I was listening to the radio on my cell at midnight and I heard it being announced that the cyclone Yasi's eye is crossing the coast now. It got scarier and the winds grew louder and louder. My neighbours and I were trying to flash our lights through the gate to see if water had started entering our premises or not. I cannot describe the winds in words. Listening to people sitting through Tully, Cardwell made me thankful that we were safe in our little laundry. As I silently prayed for mother nature to have pity on us humans, I was also saddened to hear about those who were beginning to lose the roofs of their houses. It was the longest night ever and I would peep out to try and see and the way the trees around swayed made me so scared. It was not pitch black, on the contrary, due to the rain bearing clouds, it was more of a mix of grey and red so I could make out what was happening to the trees around. We used the newspaper to try and fan ourselves taking turns sitting through the night. At 1:00 am, I woke Gill up because I couldn't see the gate and if the water had come through because it was pouring too hard. We decided to brave sitting in the lounge. We had barely sat in the lounge for a couple of minutes when the winds got even more stronger and I felt we would be hit by some kind of debris soon. So off we went in the laundry again. Gill had charged the ipad and it was his way of killing time. Gill made me go to sleep on our little mat at around 1:30 am and I remember dozing off and waking up to screeching winds. My dad called up at around 4:30 am and I heard Gill tell him that the worst was over. I woke up but it was still very,very windy. We decided to come in the bedroom and assess any damage. It was a miracle that none of the glass had broken. The winds were still very strong but we were desperate for some sleep so we crashed on the bed. I remember waking up at around 11:00 am and it was still windy. I took a shower after Gill and thankfully we were still getting water. We had filled up the bathtub and had some drinking water stored as well. Then as we sat in the car to tune in to the radio we heard that water might be turned off in addition to the power. Thankfully it did not happen and we stepped to see the damage the storm had done and it was shocking to see large old trees uprooted and lying strewn around in the streets. It was as if someone came and decided to trim them in an ugly way and then kicked them off so their remaining dignity would be gone too.
As the days have gone by, we have gone through a roller-coaster ride of emotions but it has taught me many lessons. We were without power for 70 hours, during this time, I realised the love of those who truly cared for me. It also made me realise the things we take for granted. That includes the love of our dear ones. I would not have made it sanely without Gill trying to be his humorous self and now when I look back, he was really funny even though at that time, I felt I could rip my hair apart.
My heart goes out to all those who have lost so much of their lives in this short time span but the people in this state are resilient and very helpful to one another.
Truly, I have learned a lot of things and one of them is GRATTITUDE...

Sunday, 30 January 2011

Thank You !

Just decided to express gratitude for everything in my life and for the wonderful person I married :) I know it is so not me to do this but I think I'm going to introduce a lot of changes in my life and gratitude is definitely on the list !!!!

Sunday, 9 January 2011

Happy new year

Need to enter how crazy and hectic December was and also my skydiving experience! Will do so today after this run to the grocery store.